TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
