Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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