Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
