Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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