Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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