Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
