Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
