I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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