This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize