so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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