how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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