It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
