Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
