I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
