there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
What drink are we having for lunch?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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