I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
