my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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