umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
