so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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