her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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