ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
