Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
