Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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