Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
