I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
