They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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