The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
