Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
