Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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