i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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