Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
