Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize