About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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