the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just gargled with NyQuil
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
