first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
