Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
