I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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