her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Text me some of your sweat
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