Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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