Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
