is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
3 2 1 whiskey
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
