Acid is not a monday night drug
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
