dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
i've created a new STD.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
