I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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