we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
