i would punch a child for taco bell
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
