And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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