Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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