careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
