mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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